LMPD shoots robbery suspect in the Portland neighborhood

Welcome to Possibility City. Please leave your expectations of sanity or honesty at the door.

Brutally ground and pounded a juvenile because he was the "wrong color"? Citation for assault 4th

Burglarized a house? It's actually only trespassing.

Robbed somebody? It's really just a TBUT

Murdered somebody? You're going on H.I.P.!

Revealed wrongdoing by the Chief? Demoted and transferred to a job nobody wants.

Think policing is 99% smiling while dishing out free ice cream and cookies? Obviously on your way to Major!

But, but, but Obama