KSP trooper killed in overnight chase, manhunt underway for suspect

Apparently you haven't been following the news. The OP would love to do his job but the mayor and chief have conspired to make sure that it does not happen. You see, he would normally hit his stride at the 7 hour and 15 minute mark over the course of his 10 hour shift, leaving him 2 hours and 45 minutes in which to singlehandedly save the world. By forcing him to be subject to adverse and dangerous working conditions in an 8 hour day, his abilities to effectively police are severely diminished, placing the public in jeopardy and threatening the very fabric of the universe. The anarchy of the "free the nipple" movement is only the beginning. As we speak, ISIS, ISIL, the ZETA drug cartels and numerous other nefarious subversive groups, up to and including mopes with intent to creep are poised to strike at the very heart of civilization. The responsibility for this miscarriage of justice falls squarely at the feet of our command and duly elected civilian representatives.

Oh yeah.....the girl at Chipotle who gave the guy in front of me more chicken....it's her fault too.