Well, I'm not married so instead, I'll just make you a wager. Go into your kitchen right now. Open the canisters on the counter marked, "sugar", "flour", "coffee" and "tea". Look inside. If they actually contain sugar, flour, coffee and tea instead of ketchup and mustard packets, Texas Pete hot sauce packets, salsa packets from Taco Bell and sugar packets from Super America, I'll suck your díck myself.