FBI memo on Louisville middle school gang

One of the best I've seen. I be dizzy.

I am the very model of a modern Major-General, I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral, I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical from Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical; I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical,I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical,about binomial theorem I'm teeming with a lot o' news, with many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse.

Your replies were a bit too concise. I felt the above might have more appeal and make more sense. Even though the subject matter is a bit obscure and rather dated. (Kind of like myself) But in my defense, I did look it up and post it from the parking lot at Thornton's while waiting for my coffee to cool.