LMPD :: Louisville Metro Police Department
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What a weird week in wonderful Louisville!

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Once again, last week was absolutely weird here in River City. Another wacky week full of wonderful examples of why the slogan "Keep Louisville Weird" is just right for our little town. The following news items were reported in the media over the past few days:

Stoned in Louisville. On Tuesday, LMPD officer Donald Hargadon was out in the 4th District, responding to a call from Cheryl Beach that a strange-looking woman (see mug shot at left) was throwing rocks at cars during rush hour, out on the 2500 block of South Fourth Street. Beach reported that the woman threw a brick through the rear window on the passenger side of her vehicle, shattering the glass-barely missing her 13-month-old child-and then ran off and got on a TARC bus.

Police were able to stop the TARC bus roughly 30 minutes later, and Ms. Beach identified 35-year-old Cordia Coleman as the person who threw the brick. Cordia was arrested and charged with First Degree Wanton Endangerment and Third Degree Criminal Mischief. She's being held on a $1,500.00 cash bond, pending a scheduled appearance on April 25 in front of Judge Sandra L. McLaughlin.

A check of court records indicates that Cordia is what the cops call a "frequent flyer," with multiple arrests in the past few months for such crimes as Criminal Trespass, Resisting Arrest, and Assault on a Probation Officer. But she has spent little time behind bars, thanks to the fine work of such dedicated Public Defenders as Stephanie Hilbert, Melanie Schneider, William McGinnis, Kristin Pollock, Theodore Palmer, and Annie O'Connell. Good to hear our tax money is being so well spent.

Ars gratia artis. The cops arrested 25-year-old John A. Roark, III early Wednesday morning, out near the University of Louisville, near the intersection of South Fourth Street and West Cardinal Blvd. According to the LMPD arrest report, Mr. Roark was using a yellow paint marker to draw a banana on five different parking meters in that area. When officers stopped him, Roark allegedly told them that he was trying to, "make art." One of the arresting officers was able to capture Mr. Roark demonstrating his artistic abilities on his in-car video system. Unfortunately for the artist, one man's art is another man's Misdemeanor Criminal Mischief.

Louisville woman victim of electronic conspiracy. Last Saturday, LMPD filed report No. 80-11-025772, and instead of listing a code for the crime being investigated, indicated on the incident report: "Any non criminal charge not covered by these codes." The cops were called to a home in the 1800 block of South 23rd Street, and took a report from a distressed lady: "Victim states between listed dates & times, unknown suspects sent an electric shock through the right side of her body, from her shoulder to her foot. Victim states she now feels like she has rocks in her eyes. Victim states the Commonwealth of Kentucky, both state & federal levels, are responsible for the incident."