I was shocked, confused, bewildered As I entered Heaven's door, Not by the beauty of it all, Nor the lights or its decor; But it was the folks in Heaven Who made me sputter and gasp-- The thieves, the liars, the sinners, The alcoholics and the trash.. There stood the kid from seventh grade who swiped my lunch money twice. Next to him was my old neighbor Who never said anything nice. Bob, who I always thought Was rotting away in hell, Was sitting pretty on cloud nine, Looking incredibly well. I nudged